


It's Never Enough

by EvilLittleImp



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Baelfire | Neal Cassidy is Dead, Family Bonding, Sad Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:14:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27600542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EvilLittleImp/pseuds/EvilLittleImp
Summary: Emma goes to put flowers on Neal's grave, and finds Gold there. They're both mourning, and they both need more support than they thought.
Relationships: Baelfire | Neal Cassidy/Emma Swan, Captain Hook | Killian Jones/Emma Swan, Rumplestiltskin | Mr. Gold & Emma Swan
Kudos: 13





	It's Never Enough

“Oh, hey,” Emma said awkwardly, letting the roses hang loosely from her hand.

“Miss Swan, what a surprise,” Gold didn’t look away from the name carved into stone.

“Really? I-I figured you’d expect me to drop by here sooner, or- or later,” Emma pursed her lips uncomfortably.

“I didn’t expect a thing from you, dearie. Not after. . .” he let the sentence hang, like he didn’t have the strength to be angry.

“After what?” she furrowed her brows, clutching the roses tightly.

Gold finally looked over at her, and she wished he hadn’t. The raw, aching pain in his eyes made her want to cry. She could tell he had been; his eyes were rimmed red, and he just looked so exhausted. He looked years older, with the lines around his face prominent and the dark circles under his eyes. He looked so. . . done. He looked like every problem, every sadness, every unhappy ending of the world.

“After Hook,” Gold choked the words out.

“What does Hook have to do with this?” Emma nearly snarled.

Her hands were wrapped so harshly around the roses that the thorns were digging into her skin. She could feel the sticky, red droplets of light blood suddenly lining her fingers. Hook wasn’t the reason Neal died. Hook wasn’t the reason they were in Neverland. It wasn’t Hook’s fault, and it wasn’t hers either.

“Bae gave his heart to you. He  _ died _ for you. Twice. And- and you moved on. With the pirate!” Gold hissed.

No, not Gold; not even the Dark One. Just Rumplestiltskin, a father mourning his son. A father who had given up everything, a father who had sold his soul, just so his son could have a better chance. A man who had given everything he had, just so his son didn’t have to see all the cruelties the world had to offer. Unfortunately, his soul wasn’t enough, neither was his life, or  _ his _ father’s. It was never enough. It never was before, and it certainly wasn’t now. Now that the stark, dark words were ruthlessly, unchangeably chiseled into a mere stone.

NEAL CASSIDY

It was there, and it wasn’t going away. Gold had died, and he had come back. Neal wasn’t coming back. He had lived only because of the love between a father and his son; and now he had died because of the love between a father and his son. It wasn’t Hook’s fault, not even close.

“But that doesn’t make it Hook’s fault!” Emma screamed angrily.

“No, it’s my fault!” Gold yelled back.

He clenched his teeth, and he tightened his jaw. Emma just stared at him, bemused. How was it his fault? It could have been, but the world was filled with ‘what if’s. It could be anyone’s fault, but it wasn’t. Neal made his choice. Gold gave up his soul, and Neal gave up his life. Gold searched for years, trying to apologize. Neal ran for years, trying to hide. When they finally found each other, it was just too late. That was just the way it was.

“Why?” Emma asked, confused and breathless.

“I wasn’t a good enough father. I let him down,” Gold, no,  _ Rumplestiltskin _ whispered.

“No, you didn’t. It wasn’t your fault,” she walked a little closer.

“Oh, but it was, Miss Swan,” he looked down, clearly fighting back tears.

“He made a choice. He made a choice because he loved you,” she set the bloody roses on her love’s grave.

“Love that I don’t deserve,” Rumplestiltskin spit the words through gritted teeth.

“You do, for the very reason we’re in this world,” Emma said, suddenly confident.

“Because I let him go?” Rumplestiltskin’s breath caught on the last word.

“Because you are willing to move heaven and earth for your son, and you did,” she put both of her hands on his shoulders, ignoring the stain her crimson tinged fingers left.

“It wasn’t enough,” he let one tear slip, then another.

“It never is,” Emma agreed.

He cried first, and she let her own tears go. Between the two of them, they could cry a river for one man. A good, heartsome man, who was a good son, lover, and father. Emma loved Neal Cassidy, and she would always stand by that. Even with Hook, she loved Neal. She pushed him away when she had a chance to be with him because she was afraid of being hurt; but it was a mistake.

“I-I wasn’t even here,” Rumplestiltskin’s cheeks were wet with the tears he was letting flood his face.

“You didn’t have a choice,” Emma gingerly wrapped her arms around him.

He returned her hug tentatively, unsurely. They cried, letting their tears mingle on their touching cheeks. They cried, because no one else was there, because they missed the man they both loved, because they knew he wasn’t coming back. . . because he was everything to them. Neal left her Henry, and she would always love him all the more for that. She knew she wanted to raise Henry from the moment she found out she was pregnant, but she also knew she couldn’t. Then when she knew she could, she couldn’t help but think that. . . she wanted to raise Henry with the person she loved. She could kiss a hundred men, let her walls go up a hundred times, deny everything for the rest of her life, but Neal was always the only man for her. The only man she wanted to kiss, the only man she wanted to let break her walls, the only man she wanted to say she loved.

“They didn’t even put the right name on the gravestone,” Rumplestiltskin cried into her shoulder as they sunk to the solid, dirt ground.

“Y-You can change it,” Emma whispered into his ear.

Rumplestiltskin raised a shaking hand to the stone, waving it tiredly. He watched as the letters rearranged themselves, until they read the way they were meant to. Rumplestiltskin’s mouth twitched up briefly into something Emma would consider a smile. Anything was better than nothing.

“He would like it,” Emma sighed.

“I hope so,” Rumplestiltskin nodded.

“Actually, he’d probably say something like, ‘I wish I had asked for a burial at sea, just so I didn’t have to look at that ugly-arse stone,’” she laughed quietly.

“With a few more expletives, and something involving a rock band. He was so very fond of this world’s music,” Rumplestiltskin allowed himself a small smile.

“Trust me, I know,” Emma smiled wistfully.

"He wanted to- to propose, you know," Rumplestiltskin looked at her meaningfully.

"I would have said yes," Emma sobbed.

Yes, the stone read exactly how it was supposed to, and she hoped it would never change.

BAELFIRE   
BELOVED SON, FIANCEE, AND FATHER

“LIVING WITH COURAGE IN YOUR HEART IS ABOUT FIGHTING BATTLES FOR THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE, NOT WINNING BATTLES AGAINST THE ENEMY, FOR THE ONLY ENEMY IS MALICE.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


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